Well, really depressing.
I just felt crummy. Part of it being my myofascial struggles. Part of it our lack of structure this summer. Part of it trying to catch up on sleep from while my hubby was gone the first ten days of the month. Part of it is that I usually fill my mind with the upcoming school year's activities and curriculum planning. Not this summer. I haven't really known what to think about. I mean, I have plans for what to think about in the fall, but thinking about them now just didn't feel right.
Anyway, all of this culminated into depressed thoughts and feelings.
So, finally, last week I had a break through!
My husband actually helped me out on this one.
While moaning about something in my life (for the umpteenth time) he said, "Julia, you need to just realize today is today. Tomorrow is another day. It's like you think that because today wasn't so great your whole life is awful. It could just be a bad day."
For some reason, those words really struck me. Why not just be happy today?
Granted, I know there are some out there who truly do suffer from chemical imbalance depression, so please take these next few words with your own state in mind. I think sometimes we cause ourselves to be depressed. For me there has been a constant battle between "always improving" and "being content with where I am." However, if I'm focused on "always improving," or finding the answer that will cure me, or why do I feel so crummy...then were am I not focusing my mind?
I want each day to open with the thought, "Today I will place my faith in Christ. What would He have me do TODAY...not next week, not next year, not when my kids are in school, etc? TODAY."
TODAY He wants us to be happy.
TODAY He wants us to rely on the enabling power of His atonement.
TODAY He wants us to listen to His spirit.
TODAY He wants us to serve those He loves.
TODAY He wants us to take some time to listen to our body
TODAY He wants us to... (fill in the blank).
I know the feelings that come with depression: lonliness, lack of excitement, discouragement, apathy, criticism, darkness, fear, doubt.
I also know the feelings that come with faith: joy, light, love, happiness, enthusiasm, peace.
I want to choose FAITH....TODAY.
But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world (TODAY), and eternal life in the world to come.
- - Doctrine & Covenants 59:23